Amy

Absence of grief
no evidence of pain
causes me unease
sorrow missing where expected
a gap
no longing
not a whisper of a crack in the voice
the word "husband" not even slightly hushed
no avoidance
the words "her dad" create a wince in my heart
but not her face
steady
not a mask
she should cry
for him
for her
for us
her laughter taboo
making me sad
for the girl, the dead man
for her
we should be glad
that she should be healing
healing so grandly
but I wonder
I doubt
I assume
is it wrong
or simply an instinct
an instinct to be followed
trusted
should she grieve for me?
me, who she does not know
except for work
what business is it
she should be who she is
and be that without shame
despite my instinct
in defiance of it.